Daddy

It's been two years. Yesterday, two years ago, your spirit left your body. Even as I write this, I struggled for those words. I didn't want to say you died- you are still very much alive, in all of your posterity and others whom you touched. I couldn't say you left this world, because you didn't. The Spirit World is among us, here on earth. It also insinuates you chose to go, and I don't think you did. Saying, "your spirit left your body" seemed most accurate and didn't twinge my heart. Brian and I released a balloon for you, as we will every October 15th. My emotions in relation to your physical absence vary weekly, sometimes daily. This week the depth of your absence has at times been breathtaking and particularly painful. Daddy, I miss looking into your warm eyes that mirror your deep soul. I often, want to call you and ask for your insight. I would love to answer your questions of how I've connected to God lately, what have I learned politically recently or what I'm doing that makes me happy. I'd be ecstatic to see a missed call from you with a sing-song message, that I'd re-listen to. Instead I will close my eyes and search for your face in my memories. I will imagine a great hug and will read your words. I love you daddy, today more than yesterday. Keep on keeping on, as will I. Until me meet again- hopefully tonight in my dreams. xo, Em