Tuesday, October 16, 2012


It's been two years. Yesterday, two years ago, your spirit left your body. Even as I write this, I struggled for those words. I didn't want to say you died- you are still very much alive, in all of your posterity and others whom you touched. I couldn't say you left this world, because you didn't. The Spirit World is among us, here on earth. It also insinuates you chose to go, and I don't think you did. Saying, "your spirit left your body" seemed most accurate and didn't twinge my heart. Brian and I released a balloon for you, as we will every October 15th. My emotions in relation to your physical absence vary weekly, sometimes daily. This week the depth of your absence has at times been breathtaking and particularly painful. Daddy, I miss looking into your warm eyes that mirror your deep soul. I often, want to call you and ask for your insight. I would love to answer your questions of how I've connected to God lately, what have I learned politically recently or what I'm doing that makes me happy. I'd be ecstatic to see a missed call from you with a sing-song message, that I'd re-listen to. Instead I will close my eyes and search for your face in my memories. I will imagine a great hug and will read your words. I love you daddy, today more than yesterday. Keep on keeping on, as will I. Until me meet again- hopefully tonight in my dreams. xo, Em


Stizz said...

You're words are so sweet. I know your dad is aware of you and I'm glad you have such great memories of him and are able to look back in love. I know he touched many lives for good, including Dave's. <3

Dale, Julie, Jaxon, Britta, and Max said...

I found your blog :) You've got me in tears over here! You do a great job of describing the loss. I've been feeling like I need a good chat with you. I'll be calling when we get back. .... And I really hope you met him in your dreams that night- what a blessing that would've been!


Yep, i'm crying! Love you and your daddy. I of course didn't know him well but I remember the day I came to visit you in the hospital after Norah was born. Your parents were there and your dad asked if we had any children. I said we didn't and we joked about not being fit to be parents. He got very serious and said that we were and that God would bless us, and bore his testimony about the joy of children. I never forgot that and we got pregnant a few short months later what a great example to us all!