Monday, October 29, 2012

Funeral thoughts and then some

My mom is republishing my Dad's book, "Daddy come out and play." She is including our funeral remarks and a few more thoughts. It was very cathartic to write them down. The emotion the catharsis ended on was joy mixed with immense appreciation. Here are the thoughts: In moment of question, fear or doubt in my life, I’ve turned to my parents, knowing that they know who our almighty source is, and that they could give me something of worth, something that would lead me to Jesus Christ. My Dad wouldn’t always give me his immediate counsel, rather he would invite me to turn to the Lord and he would teach me principles that caused me to do so. With his physical departure from this life, as we are now feeling a little bit of pain, due to the void we have in our lives now, I want to share with you, what the spirit has spoken to me. This is what I’ve received as I have knelt for peace; peace which I has been given me. My father, who alone, could have kept the white index-card industry in business, left one on his desk. It was a thought that I believe the Holy Ghost whispered to him near the end of his life. On that card it said, “May you always have a hearing heart and see the unseen. Love, Dad.” In Hebrews 11:27 the source of this thought is found. And that is speaking of Moses and says, “By faith, he forsook Egypt. Not fearing the wrath of the King for he endured, as seeing him, who is invisible.” We don’t see our Heavenly Father, we don’t see Jesus Christ, I no longer see my father, but I know that they are alive and I know that they can still touch us through the Holy Spirit. I felt this immediately after his death and have throughout the greater part of my life. My dad would sometimes say, “We all need a faith lift to lift our face.” He would then speak of what he called “The Faith Formula.” It is something that we can apply temporally and spiritually. He pulls this formula from the scriptures; from the Bible and also from the Book of Mormon. The 4 principles are: 1) See it, see what you want to obtain. 2) Say it. 3) Do it. 4) Leave the rest to the Lord. Daddy was a master of the faith formula. He always had a clear vision of what he wanted to obtain in his life; in regards to his family, career, his testimony and personal relationship with Jesus Christ. He shared his plans and wrote them down. He attempted his plans. Most times he was successful. Sometimes he was not. His failures did not stop his efforts. After he had done all he could, he would leave the rest to the Lord. He did not assume or claim that his successes were his own. He credited God and Christ in all. My father still lives in spirit. This is made possible through our Savior Jesus Christ, who I know was resurrected and who I know loves us all dearly. Dear Dad I will continue to look for you in the mountains, in music, and through the Holy Ghost. I will find you in your music, writing and in my memory and dreams. I close my eyes and I can picture me feigning sleep on the basement floor, so you would pick me up and lovingly take me up to my bed. I sing “Hi Ho” or “The Passing Policeman” to Norah and Elias, and I hear your voice in my ears, and smell the interior of the old van and my first Big Mac. When I reach back and grab my child’s knee in the car, I remember your always-soft hand on my knee. That pat was always a silent reassurance that you love me and that I’m special to you. When I push my children on the swing and Norah asks me to push her up to the sky, I hear me asking you the same thing. I feel butterflies in my stomach and your strong hands pushing me up to the sky. You always believed I could reach the stars and I continue to try for you. I think of you when I look at the moon, because after you died, 14 month-old Norah named it “Opa’s moon.” I continue to feel you when she talks about you. She hasn’t seen you for over two years, yet she speaks of you more than anyone. We’ve sent many balloons up to you in Heaven Daddy, and we will continue to do so. Catch them and know that we love you. Know that we are laced with your fingerprints and you left us better than you found us. I love you.

4 comments:

Heidi Rose said...

this is beautiful.
love you guys.

RJ Harris said...

Very beautiful words, Emily. His missionary family loves and misses him too. Alles Gute.

Heather said...

This is beautiful, Emily. Your dad sounds wonderful.

Mrs. Martha said...

Emily,

Reading this tonight. So, so beautiful. Just what I needed today. Your gift of writing is so meaningful applied to such a tender topic.