Dear Norah and Elias-I've been thinking for weeks, how I'd approach this blog post. I haven't posted for months and the reasons are numerous. I have a partially written blog post with the details, but it made me feel too transparent and for the moment, I'm not there yet. Instead, I will write because it is the doorway to more opportunities to emote. If I continue to avoid your blog, more months will pass, without me allowing others to peek into the growth you two are making. I went to California for a week with you Elias, and when we got back, I was floored by your growth Norah. I felt like you grew in every aspect. You looked taller and a little chubbier- a sign that a growth spurt is around the corner. You were even more articulate than before; using new words and sentences. I walked in at 10:30pm and you were still awake, which is very rare. I was ecstatic. I ran upstairs, threw open your door and there you were: with your perfect, wide, open-mouthed smile. I grabbed you out of your crib, sat down on the ground and rocked you. You said, "Mama! My mama's home!" Perfect words. I was so glad to be home with you and so glad to be your mama. You are so small Norah, but your heart is enormous and has taught me how better to love and cherish. You have opened my eyes to simple joys and beauties. I see every puddle and every leaf now. I too, can make a toy out of anything now. I'm grateful that you are my Norah. Your imagination is taking off. You insist on your imaginary items every night, in your crib. So we go through the list, every night and give you: your vitamins, gummy bears, phone, reeses egg, vanilla milk, almond milk, chocolate milk, normal milk, orange juice, your purple backpack, crepes, cheese and pbj. Then we turn down your sound machine "a yitto bit" and leave the door open "a yitto bit" and "turn fan on". Then you end the routine, begging for "one more hug and a kiss!" It's a crazy routine, we admit it, but it is your routine and so we do it. The other day, we were outside in your little pool. I put on your swimsuit w/o a swim diaper. As you were standing by the pool you said, "I did NOT just go peeps". I responded, "You didn't go peeps?" "Nope, I did NOT just go peeps." I looked over and saw peeps running down your legs and said, "It's OK if you went peeps. Are you sure you didn't go peeps?" You responded, "OK, I went peeps." I laughed out loud. I don't know if I could love you more than I do. Sweet Elias- I don't even know where to begin, in describing your sweet personality. I am astounded at your patience and consistent, calm demeanor. Your temperament is so even. You always greet me with a smile and loving eyes. As I look into your eyes, I feel you trying to tell me that you trust me and you love me. It is a beautifully unique experience. You sleep amazingly well during the day and are getting better at night sleeping. You slept last night for the first time, unswaddled. You cried for 21 minutes and then fell asleep for 6 hours. You awoke, fed and fell asleep again. You are incredible. Today you sat on the couch and watched Norah "read" a book to you. I can tell you already adore her. You watch her every move and meet her eyes with a smile. When I hold you, you put your cheek against my head and hold on to my shoulder. You appreciate closeness, and it is a dream for me. In your baby blessing, your daddy said, Norah and your other siblings will look to you as an example and for guidance. I see already, that you will be a quiet and calm strength to our family. I see goodness in every part of your body and heart. You are trying to be a thumb-sucker. We'll see if that continues. I have offered the binki, but when it comes to it, I think you will do what you prefer, and I'm OK with that. Thank you dear Elias for blessing our lives. I thank God that you are here. Dearest Norah and Elias, thank you for your patience, in my weaknesses. Thank you for loving me so unconditionally. You two are heaven sent. xo,Mommy
Your first touch of sand, in Santa Monica.