Sunday, October 24, 2010

My Hero

dear Norah-
Last Friday, October 15th, my hero, mentor and buddy passed away. At age 71, my daddy left his body and entered the spirit world. That evening, your daddy and I received a call from my brother David. He informed Brian, who then informed me, that my dad was found by my mom that afternoon lying on the floor of our family room. He was in a comfortable position, as if he had laid down to take a nap. He had is right arm up, near his head, and his leg crossed over the other. He still had a hint of a smile on his lips. When your daddy told me, I didn't want to believe it. It was a shock, there was no hint of preparation. One of my first thoughts was, "did he suffer?" It looks as though he didn't. He prepared breakfast, but left it sitting as he followed a feeling to call his brother. He must have returned upstairs, drank a sip or two of his grapefruit juice (one of his daily musts) and perhaps laid down to combat some discomfort of some sort. He never got back up. Oma returned home from a hair appointment to find him cold on the floor.
I've lost grandparents, cousins and friends. I have never lost an immediate family member. I've often wondered if my beliefs and the things I've preached in my life would hold true and strong in such a moment. Norah, I testify to you that I know that Christ has overcome death. " But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ." Mosiah 16:8. I have felt the presence of my father since he died last Friday. I saw his body and it was different- absent of its spirit. The things that I have experienced the past week are too sacred to share in this format but I will record them in my journal, and invite you to look for them there.

My daddy left something on his desk: "May you listen with a hearing heart and see the unseen. Love Dad". I don't believe he knew he was going to die, but I do believe he is a very inspired man and followed the prompting to write this. I saw something similar in his thought book, written recently. Norah, I have seen the unseen this week and heard with my heart. I pray that I may continue to do so, everyday. The spirit communicates to our hearts and there is so much unseen, that will lead us closer to Christ.

I miss my daddy. I miss him a lot. He has the ability to make me feel loved, no matter what. He always accepts me for who I am and challenges me to excel. He loves you dearly. You had many sweet moments with him this summer. He would sing to you, play the piano for you, tickle you and dote on you. You have shown love to him. This week I've asked you several times if you love Opa. You respond every time with a resounding "uh huh!" I would love to have my daddy still here, but I find comfort in the words of Elder Evans, who felt prompted that my father's death was not premature. I find comfort in the plan of our Savior. I find comfort in the records, videos and CDs my daddy left of him writing, speaking and singing. The pain is still there, and it's very real. I feel it particularly in the evenings, when I'm alone. I feel it when I am misunderstood or falsely judged. I feel it when I yearn for a big bear hug or a soft word.

I have faith I will see him again and that he is still near. I sometimes can almost feel an answer from him, when I talk to him and/or ask him questions. I believe he hears me. I will use my dad's faith formula, drawn from the scriptures to ensure my return to him:
1) See it
2) Say it
3) Do it
4) Leave the rest up to the Lord.

I love you Norah and thank Heavenly Father that I get to be your mother. I hope I can be a fraction of the parent my dad and mom are. I've been stunned as I've thought of many of the things my dad has taught me in my lifetime. He is so inspired and full of knowledge. He thirsts for knowledge. My life is forever changed.
love,
mommy




Oma, Daddy and Opa at daddy's BYU graduation.


Oma, you and Opa in Boston. Look at your sweet hand
on his soft hand.


Opa, me and Daddy at our wedding. I love his face and
how much it expresses in this picture.


Opa and me at my wedding.


Opa and me laughing and dancing at my wedding.

21 comments:

Brian and Emily Blewitt said...

I love this post, my darling. You have a way of simply and beautifully conveying your thoughts through writing. I am so glad that Norah had the opportunity to meet Opa. Even though she will not remember him, it is wonderful that we have pictures of her with him -- not to mention pictures of her looking ecstatic in his arms.

You are a shining example to me of what it really means to have faith in Heavenly Father's plan. It's scary sometimes how much I love you :)

cath said...

I am amazed by you, Em. What a beautiful post. I am still thinking on how my life needs to be different because of that funeral. Love and prayers.

megan... said...

you brought me to tears Em. I know that you will honor and remember your dad by being everything wonderful that you loved in him. I have a pretty good feeling that Norah will know her Opa through you and Brian. My heart and prayers are with you.

Deb said...

He was a great man. He was always so nice to me and was always fun and had a joke to tell. I remember going to your cabin with you guys and you wanting me to call him "Dad" or "Daddy" and I would...haha. Remember that? And I remember him not getting mad at me when I bought you a dog for your birthday (even though I could tell he was annoyed, he never got angry.) Anyway, I know that you and your family will continue to feel his love and hope you won't feel alone and sad. Love you!

Anonymous said...

Du hast all das wunderschöne in deinem Herzen so lieb aufgeschrieben. Danke! Obwohl ich deinen Papi nie kennengelernt habe, ist er durch das, was du geschrieben hast, auch ein Vorbild für mich geworden.
Danke für dein/euer Beispiel, Emily!

Anonymous said...

I am inspired by your faith and testimony. Thank you for sharing it with all of us. Norah is so lucky to have you and Brian as parents and to have an obvious legacy of wonderful grandparents. I'm so sorry for your loss and will keep you in my prayers. Love you.

heather said...

Emily you are an angel. Your life in and of itself testifies of what a great man your father was and continues to be. These are such beautiful words and a touching tribute to him. Thank you for sharing them. I can't wait to see you again and feel of your goodness. I've been missing that lately. :) You're constantly in my prayers.

JenErik said...

You know how I feel about you. You know how I feel about God and Jesus Christ. You know how much I cherished your cute dad. What a life emma j.

Kate said...

what beautiful words, and what a beautiful testimony. i love you em.

Kim and Steve said...

Hope all is well with your family. I can imagine how difficult this must be. My thoughts are with you.

LAINA said...

Thank you for sharing. Although I only met your parents a few times there was always a love felt with each interaction.

You expressed yourself beautifully and I a sure your words have given strength to so many. They touched me. Thank you and I am sorry.

Stephie Lynne Purcell said...

Em- Thank you for posting your feelings and memories about your dad. I'm sure you miss him. How wonderful that you can show Norah the pictures of her with her grandfather- I know she will cherish them. Your testimony is inspiring and I know it will carry you through the hard times. I love you and have you and your family in my prayers.

Makenna said...

I'm so sorry dear heart! Thank goodness for our Savior. Thank goodness for the plan of Salvation. I hurt for you. I know that pain isn't forever, but LOVE is. hang in there!

Mark, Stef, and Grace said...

Emily, Wow. You are so strong! I cannot imagine what you're going through. Your faith is amazing and your testimony so solid. I truly look up to you. Hang in there, You are in our thoughts.

Sarah McK said...

What a beautiful post. You are handling this with such a remarkable amount of grace and faith! I marvel at your strength! Your dad was such a dear man! I will never forget how cute it was to hear him sing "Sunrise, Sunset" at your wedding luncheon with Brian's dad! I sure love you! You know I'm always here to listen and talk, day or night!

Crystal and Kyle said...

Thank you for sharing your beautiful testimony. I cried through the whole thing. You express your feelings so well. You are an inspiration to me. I'm sure your daddy could not be prouder of you. You and Brian are in our thoughts and prayers!

The Boothes said...

OH Emily, you write so beautifully. I am sorry for your loss. Know that my prayers will be headed your way. Love you.

THE BELL HOUSE BLOG said...

Gosh now you have me crying...I looked at that picture of your dad at your wedding while the sister missionaries are singing. I totally started to cry because that face says so much. It says he loves you, he is scared to let you go, he trusts you and is sad his little girl is all grown up....ahhh being a parent. He was a great one! I love you sis and loved seeing you this past week. Keep your chin up.

Danny and Shalayne said...

Em that was beautiful. I'm sorry to hear this, but I'm glad you shared your feelings. Our thoughts are with you all.

Erin_C said...

I am late, but I just wanted to say I'm so very sorry for the loss of your dad. I have a very fond memory of him singing at the lunch after your wedding. He was obviously a wonderful man and a loving father. Thank you for sharing your testimony and faith. You're in my prayers, and I hope you are doing well.

brenley said...

em, i love you so much and i hope everyone is doing well. i loved reading every detail of your post. the note he left just made me cry and then smile ... how neat! you dad is amazing. i hope your mom is doing alright. she is so sweet!! love you!